I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize