So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
