Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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