love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
