If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
