All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
