i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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