I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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