A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
