omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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