Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
