Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
