Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
