that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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