This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
