You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
