It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
