i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
