doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
