O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
