I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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