I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
