she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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