I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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