how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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