Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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