I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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