perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
