Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
