I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
