oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
