Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
As shirtless as possible
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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