The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
