grandma shit on top of the toilet
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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