my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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