YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
