i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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