If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize