just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize