i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
