is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
