What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize