I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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