I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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