he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
