Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
