wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
