Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
