I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
PANTIES FOUND
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
