Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
