I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
