i just had sex bonerless
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
the liver wants what the liver wants
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
