Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

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(+44): View more from England

You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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(803): View more from South Carolina

already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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(316): View more from Kansas

i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

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(845): View more from New York

i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression

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