I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
