also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize