After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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