i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
