if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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