Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
